Being a single parent is a walk in the park – Jurassic Park, that is.
It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, challenges, and setbacks, but it also provides some pretty cool opportunities for building a strong, resilient family unit.
We know the days are long and hard, and juggling work, household chores, bills, and raising kids often have you at your wit’s end. If this sounds familiar, just know you aren’t alone – and give yourself a pat on the back for keeping it together!
Whether or not being a single parent was part of your life plan, it’s fair to say single parents wear many hats – mum, dad, accountant, chef, teacher, doctor, and superhero. While this may seem daunting, there is a flip side.
Single parenting can be incredibly rewarding. You’re raising strong, independent kids and you’re becoming a rockstar at multitasking!
So, make yourself a cup of coffee and let’s unpack this topic together in more detail.
Tip #1: Build A Support System
No one said single parenting would be easy, but that doesn’t mean you must do it completely alone either! Finding a solid support system and asking for help are just two ways to take the pressure off. Here’s how:
Community and support networks
Building a support system is like creating your own personal superhero squad. Trying times call for trustworthy people to count on. These can be family, friends, co-workers, or lone parent support groups. Gingerbread offers single-parent families in England and Wales a chance to get together, meet new people, and support each other.
You’ll learn all sorts of tips and tricks from these support groups and get advice from people who’ve been in your shoes. It’s worth a shot!
Asking for help
Imagine trying to juggle all the balls of single parenthood without any help. Pretty scary, right? That’s why you should never be afraid to ask for help, as it’s the secret ingredient on this crazy roller coaster ride.
Whether it’s babysitting, school pickups, a home-cooked meal, or just a listening ear, your family and friends have your back. Plus, professional counsellors and therapists are out there too, offering guidance, coping mechanisms, and a fresh perspective.
It takes a village to raise kids – remember that. Find your tribe and surround yourself with people who lift you up, especially during your darker days. You’ve got this!
Tip #2: Balance Responsibilities
Okay, let’s talk about the balancing act. It really comes down to two main things: managing your time and finding time for yourself. Someone wise once said: “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” and that couldn’t be more true for single parents.
Let’s take a closer look:
Time management
- Stick to a realistic routine: It’s no secret that adults and kids thrive on routine. A schedule will help you feel more secure and allow you to manage multiple tasks. But don’t try to cram too much into your day – allow for a bit of flexibility.
- Prioritise your life: Make a list of your non-negotiables. If never missing your kids’ football match or always eating together as a family is high on the agenda, figure out how to make this happen. Learn to say “no” to things that no longer serve you, like drinking in the pub until the wee hours.
- Set time limits: Be honest about how much time things take. Consider setting a timer when working on specific tasks to remain focused and avoid getting bogged down.
- Minimise distractions: Put your phone on silent mode or close unnecessary tabs on your computer. This allows you to focus on the task at hand. Work smarter, not harder.
- Take breaks: It’s okay to stop and rest. Some days might be harder than others – go easy on yourself.
Self care
Self care is important for everyone, even more so for single parents. When you care for yourself, you can care for your children better. What you put in is what you get out – it’s simple maths.
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Here are some ideas:
- Make time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Meditation, yoga or even going for a walk are just three examples.
- Do things you love to do. Don’t stop living your life just because you’re a single parent. Continue doing the things that bring you joy, like playing club sports or volunteering at your local animal shelter.
- Don’t isolate yourself – make time to see friends and family often.
- Get enough sleep. Aim for seven to eight hours a night.
- Eat a healthy diet that will give you enough energy to tackle each day.
- Exercise regularly. Not only does it relieve stress but the endorphins (a.k.a. “feel good hormones”) are brilliant for your mental health!
- Talk to someone. A listening ear does wonders when you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Consider professional help if you’re really struggling.
- Take breaks. Read a book, listen to music, go to the gym – whatever puts a spring in your step.
Tip #3: Practical Advice For Single Parents
Want to ride this single-parent wave like a pro? Master these practical tips and you’ll be well on your way.
Financial planning
There’s no doubt money can be tight as a single parent. It feels like you’re constantly juggling bills and figuring out how to make ends meet. And let’s face it, the stress and sleepless nights will eventually catch up with you.
Luckily, there’s light at the end of this seemingly dark tunnel. With a bit of financial planning and researching your options, like government grants, you’ll find ways to manage your money like a boss. Here’s how:
- Work with a budget: Create a budget that outlines your income, fixed expenses (rent, utilities), and fluctuating costs like groceries, entertainment, and non-essentials. Budgeting apps are great to use!
- Needs vs wants: Prioritise essentials like housing, gas, food and transport before luxury items like hair and nail appointments. This ensures all basic necessities are covered.
- Track your spending: Keep records of your monthly expenses to know exactly where your money is going. This helps you monitor and tweak your spending.
- Save for a rainy day: Cut back on unnecessary expenses like online subscriptions (or that gym contract you never use) to find ways to save. Aim to save at least three months’ worth of living expenses in case of emergencies.
Here are a few resources to look into:
- Free childcare for working parents
- Free school meals – England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland
- Universal Credit to help with living costs
- Tax-free Child Benefits when caring for children under 16 years old
- NHS Low Income Scheme
Parenting strategies
- Routines are like the foundation of a house – they provide a stable environment for us and our children. Knowing what to expect throughout the day can make mornings less chaotic and bedtimes a heck of a lot smoother.
- Good habits come from consistent routines. Things like homework, chores, [pet care] and managing screen time teach our kids valuable life lessons that will stay with them for life.
- Discipline is about teaching our kids right from wrong. Just because you’re a lone ranger doesn’t excuse you when discipline and manners fly out the window. Explain expectations and consequences beforehand – and stick to them!
- Get kids involved with age-appropriate tasks around the house to share the responsibilities. Things like caring for a pet, [getting involved in the kitchen], or sorting laundry are great ways to teach kids independence – an essential skill for adulthood.
- Regularly chat with your kids to build stronger family ties. We know how difficult it can be as a single parent, but remember, it ain’t easy for the youngsters either. Encourage them to [open up about their feelings] and be a strong support system for them.
- Have a positive attitude. No matter how stressed you are about finances or whatnot, try to keep your emotions in check – as hard as this may seem at times. Remember, little eyes are always watching – and little ears are always hearing. Rather speak to an adult about adult things and keep sharing this information with your kids to a minimum.
Single Parenting Advice From The Experts
Here we take a look at a few expert opinions about navigating single parenthood:
- Australia’s Raising Children website highlights that “self-compassion supports your mental health and wellbeing. It helps you feel less £stressed and anxious so that you’re better able to give your child what they need to grow and develop.”
- Jo Frost, a global parenting expert, explains that “you should embrace your role as a parent, get as much help as you can, and know it’s time for a break. Find ways to take up offers of help whenever you can; there’s no reason to be proud when a little time off can ease the stress and help you feel more relaxed in your parenting role.”
- The NHS recommends single parents call on relatives or close friends to help lighten the load of lone parenthood, such as babysitting or helping with school runs.
Take it from the experts: It’s okay to not be okay sometimes and it’s super important to be kind to yourself. Taking a break and asking for help isn’t selfish or a sign of weakness – it actually helps you be a better parent in the long run!
The Conversation Continues
We’ve explored this topic extensively, covering everything from finding a solid superhero squad and financial tips to the approved nod about self-care from the experts.
Allowing yourself a break and asking for help are your keys to success in navigating the seemingly treacherous waters of single parenthood. While we understand how stressful this situation can be, remember you’ve got family, friends, and therapists to rely on. Don’t try to do everything yourself, even if you’re the best multitasker.
Look at this in a positive light, knowing you’re raising strong, independent, and hard-working kids. And give yourself a round of applause for not giving up!
If you have any tips or strategies you’d like to share, please pop a comment below and join the discussion. We’d love to hear your thoughts!
We’d love to hear what you think…
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