Should kids do chores, or is it unfair to make them work?
Parents are often divided on whether household tasks build responsibility or just cause unnecessary stress, and the debate is hotter than ever!
We all want to raise responsible, capable little humans, but where exactly is the sweet spot between “helpful kid” and “mini-Cinderella”?
Today, we’re not taking sides: We’re here to explore both sides of the parenting debate on chores with expert insights and real parent experiences.
Let’s jump in to see what’s really going on.
Argument #1: Kids Should Do Chores
Let’s be honest: We all want our kids to leave the nest one day, ready to tackle the real world with confidence. And many parents believe that household chores are the start of that journey.
We’re not talking about turning your kids into miniature cleaning machines (although that’s a tempting thought!) but rather giving them the tools they need to thrive as successful young adults.
Think of simple tasks like making their beds (no, not perfectly!), washing the dishes after dinner, or even taking a stab at cooking a simple dinner for the family once a week. These aren’t “chores” but rather life lessons in disguise.
Why chores work:
- Builds self-esteem and confidence: Whether it’s conquering a pile of dirty dishes or learning how to fit a sheet, completing chores gives kids a sense of accomplishment. These little “I did it” moments boost their confidence and self-esteem.
- Teaches life skills: Chores help kids develop important skills like independence, time-management and responsibility. They learn to plan, organise and see tasks through to completion without a second thought.
- Encourages teamwork: Family is a team, and chores are how we share the load. When kids pitch in, they learn the value of teamwork and collaboration, making them feel that their contributions make a difference.
- Build resilience: Even simple tasks like sorting out the recycling or peeling potatoes teach great problem-solving skills to our children. They learn that it’s okay to make mistakes, to try again, and find creative solutions. It’s all about building that “can-do” attitude, helping them bounce back from life’s challenges.
Expert and parental insights
Experts from Raising Children agree that kids who do chores tend to be more self-sufficient adults. Don’t believe us? Here’s what they had to say: “Doing chores helps children learn about what they need to do to care for themselves, a home and a family. They learn skills they can use in their adult lives, like preparing meals, cleaning, organising and gardening.”
But it’s not just the experts who see the value.
A parent on Reddit shared their practical approach to age-appropriate chores, giving us a glimpse of what they do at home. “Everyone cleans up after themselves. [My nine and eight year old] empty the dishwasher, fold their clothes, vacuum, take out the bathroom rubbish and feed the dog. [My five year old] packs her clothes away and helps feed the fish in the morning.”
As we can see, both experts and parents show us that giving kids chores isn’t just about getting things done, it’s about helping them grow into capable, confident, responsible individuals.
Argument #2: Kids Shouldn’t Be Forced To Do Chores
Alright, let’s take a look at the other side of the coin and dive into why some parents believe chores should take a backseat.
Many parents feel that kids of today are already under enough pressure with homework and extracurricular activities as it is. They worry that adding chores to the mix is like, well, trying to fit another overflowing laundry basket into an already jam-packed washing machine. It just isn’t going to work.
Let’s take a closer look at why some parents prefer to let chores slide.
Why chores don’t work:
- Stress and time management: Chores can add stress to children’s lives, especially when they need to balance school, sports, drama lessons and social events. This can lead to difficulties in managing their time.
- Potential negative perception: If chores are forced, used as punishment, or assigned unfairly, kids might develop a negative view of household work, which can lead to resentment and a lack of cooperation.
- Risk of power struggles: For some families, chores can quickly escalate into power struggles. The constant nagging, the resistance, and the inevitable arguments can create a tense home environment. Sometimes, it’s best to pick our battles—right?
- Focus on education: Some parents believe that mastering algebra is far more important than scrubbing floors. Instead, they want their children to focus on their education and develop the skills that will help prepare them for their first job and/or future careers.
Expert and parental insights
Experts from Cornell Cooperative Extension of Washington County highlight the importance of tailoring chores to match a child’s ability, saying, “It’s important to assign jobs that kids are able to do. Avoid overwhelming them with too many tasks or tasks that are too difficult.”
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One parent on Reddit admits that her five-year-old recently questioned the financial value of chores. “[My five-year-old] is starting to realise that work=money and money=things to buy,” she shared. “I thought that a reward chart would be more appropriate, so if she does one small task every day, she can earn a reward for weekends.”
It’s clear that pushing kids too hard can lead to children viewing chores as “work” in the transactional sense rather than a contribution to the family home.
Middle Ground: A Balanced Approach
Rather than going to extremes, it’s best to find a middle ground––one that encourages responsibility without overwhelming kids. Yes, there are many benefits of kids doing chores, but as discussed, there are a few drawbacks, too.
Here’s our advice on reaching that sweet spot:
- Age-appropriate tasks: Assign chores that are suitable for your child’s age and abilities. For example, toddlers can help pack toys away while teens can prepare a family dinner once a week and do the ironing.
- Focus on life skills: Think beyond your cleaning checklist and use chores as a practical way to teach life skills. Instead of just asking kids to set the table, why not involve them in planning a family meal? Or, rather than just folding laundry, teach them how to use a washing machine.
- Start small: Begin with simple chores first, such as feeding pets, and then add more challenging tasks as they learn new skills.
- Rewarding chores vs. unpaid responsibilities: Extra chores like mowing the lawn can be reward-based while others like keeping bedrooms tidy or clearing the table are just part of keeping house. Reward charts are a great way to motivate little ones, too!
The Conversation Continues
The debate about whether kids should do chores or not doesn’t have a crystal clear resolution. While some argue they teach kids invaluable life skills like resilience and responsibility, others feel chores might be too overwhelming and distract them from their education. The sweet spot lies in the in-between, where we set age-appropriate tasks and gradually increase the difficulty as they progress.
Do YOU think children should have household responsibilities? We’d love to hear your insights, tips and suggestions. Join the [Facebook] discussion or share your thoughts in the comments below.
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